toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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