DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
