ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
