Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
