It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
