so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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