i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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