Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She told me I should be a condom model.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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