I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
