you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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