whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
