There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
