I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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