But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
