Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
