I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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