he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
