im drinking this country out of the recession.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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