remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
