So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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