I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There was a lot of him and a little penis
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
