Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How naked do you want me to be?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
