she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
