By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
