i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
