Porn is love you can see.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
