she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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