My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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