so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
