I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
