I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
