Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
