we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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