3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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