apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
