how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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