Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
