I wish i was in the wii world.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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