Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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