Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
