I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
