my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
