Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
