watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
