I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
