sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
