it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Green mimosas i think yes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
