The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
