She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
