just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I believe in your delicious
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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