And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
