Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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